Friday's Fic Fit 6.18.2010

Every Friday, we’ll ease your cravings for a hit/fic by passing on something that’s been rec’d to us. This means that if there’s a fic you wanna see, you’ll need to submit it! Stories that fit the theme of our upcoming podcast are most appreciated.

Today's Fic Fit, Daniel Gale: Cumming to America by 
danielgaleh00rs is brought to you by Althea.

Mistress Elektra rec'd this bad boy to us and we asked her why we should read this fic. She said, "He's is a geeky, horny motherfucker. That's why."

Summary: 

Nerdalicious Daniel Gale is saying goodbye to England and hello to the United States. Looking to reinvent himself, he is all too gratified by the corn-fed derriers of Americans. Daniel Gale/Twilight cross over, slightly crackfic, AU, AH, Prepare for Perv

Here's the lowdown:

Daniel Gale is a character played by Robert Pattinson in the movie The Bad Mother's Handbook. In case you're curious, here's a video compilation of Rob as Daniel Gale in 2.5 mins.

The danielgaleh00rs decided that there needs to be copious amounts of fanfiction dedicated to this deliciously adorkable character. The result is Daniel Gale: Cumming to America.

The story is a crossover where Daniel comes to college in America and he meets up with some of the Twilight posse. You don't need to have read or watched The Bad Mother's Handbook. All you need to do is imagine a British Geekward and "Ta Da!" there you have it. 

Here's the pimpage:

When I found out this rec rolled into our 'Pimp a Fic' inbox, I immediately called DIBS! I have so much love for this fic that it's ridiculous.  First of all, it's HYSTERICAL! I find myself laughing out loud every chapter. Sweet, innocent British Daniel encounters the hormone & alcohol fueled life of college in America. Luckily he has Emmett, the best roommate ever, to show him the ropes. This fic actually just won the GiggleSnort Award for Best Emmett! 

We learn that Daniel's thing is that he likes the ladies with a bit 'o junk in the trunk. 

As I got through a massive crowd of business persons, airport employees, and other travelers I was greeted by a sea of delicious corn-fed American derrieres. I knew at this point I was going to love America!

It is so much fun to follow this awkward British boy as he fumbles and pines for a plus-sized Bella. I LOVE reading a story with a plus-sized Bella!! The poor kid seems to have no control over his body when Bella is in the viscinity. And being inside his head as he worships her from afar... couldn't be more adorable.

"Hey guys!" Bella greeted us. "Oh I love this show" she stood with her bum directly in my line of sight staring at the giant screen, eyes full of enthusiasm. Could it be that this full-figured goddess loves bad science fiction? My penis stirred.

Somehow this story is able to bring the sweet and the pervy at the same time. A tremendously fun combo. 

The girls left us in our room, but not before Rose practically devoured Emmett's face in front of me and Alice kissed my cheek and left with a small smile. As I was turning to tell Rose goodnight, she grabbed me by both sides of my face and planted her lips to mine. Those were the first and second kisses of my life that didn't come from Mum or Nan. These American girls were incredibly friendly.

Oh the situations Daniel gets himself into! The hilarious hijinx makes this a borderline crackfic, in the absolute best way. But somehow, AnnettesKitty (head danielgaleh00r and author of this fic) strikes a balance with just the sweetest chemistry between the lovely Bella and adorably clueless Daniel. 

As the lecture began, Bella drew another smiley face in her notebook, in the margin closest to me. Instantly I felt the heat rise in my face and the familiar stiffening in my pants. My sexual frustration prompted me to be bold, so I too drew a smiley face in my notebook – in the margin closest to Bella. I even drew little glasses on him so she knew that the smiley represented me, and that I was happy. When I looked up, Bella was staring straight ahead, turning purple, and trying not to smile. Could it be that the beautiful Bella Swan liked me too and wanted to be my friend? The notion was incomprehensible. 

There are some GREAT secondary characters!!

Carlisle is brilliant as the corruptive RA. BRILL-YANT! He reminds me of the dude in Dazed and Confused played by Matthew McConoughy...about high school girls, "I get older and they stay the same age." In this story, Carlisle seems equally strategic and shudder-inducing skeevy heebie jeebs.

"Don't get me wrong. I love the gays and I wholeheartedly welcome them to my floor." He slapped his hands together and lowered his voice. "Hot chicks follow them around dancing at parties, getting all horny...and guess who is there to give them what they need at the end of the night?" He pointed to himself and answered his own question "Daddy C!"

Holly hell! Were all Americans this oversexed?

The blog that has been created to support this story is GENIUS. It has Daniel's Scrapbook of his adventures in America and a section called Asssk Daniel where readers can submit questions for Daniel to answer. Totally creative and I'm crushing hard on Annetteskitty, the force behind this Daniel Gale enterprise.

To get in on the adorably pervy, awkwardly sexy, and cluelessly hilarious fun, check out Daniel Gale: Cumming to America immediately!

You can also come play with Daniel on Twitter @DanielGale or play with the DanielGaleh00rs on the Twilighted thread.