Friday's Fic Fit 7.30.2010

Every Friday, we’ll ease your cravings for a hit/fic by passing on something that’s been rec’d to us. This means that if there’s a fic you wanna see, you’ll need to submit it! Stories that fit the theme of our upcoming podcast are most appreciated.

Post Jack! This week, a Pimp was pwned hardcore and is stealing this post to tell you about a fuckawesome fic that she stumbled across on her own. Your regularly scheduled Friday Fic Fit will return next Friday.

For today’s reading pleasure, Jess would like to rec The Betty Chronicles by Emily Bowden.

Photobucket Summary:

There is an exclusive group known as the Cullens who only allow the most seductive of women into their circle. But their training is not what she thought it would be. Rated MA for lemons & adult content. Cannon couples...eventually...

Twilighted Summary:

I’d been dissatisfied more times than I could count in the past two years, which probably wasn’t a bad thing. Usually, it just meant another long month of disappointment on my part when we realized the new batch of women were no good. We’d found several candidates that fit our needs, but as was often the case, they lacked that certain spark I’d personally been looking for. It didn’t matter, though; I always had a lot of fun deciphering through the rejects.

It wasn’t about promiscuity; it wasn’t about experimentation, although we did plenty of that. Our program was about learning how to find sexual pleasure, adapting to different methods, and finding that one person who chemically and physically matched us to perfection.

Rated NC-17 for graphic lemons, sexual/adult content, and foul language. Canon couples… eventually.

Jess’ official pimping:

I think it’s clear by the time you’ve read the summary that this fic is like nothing you’ve read before. At least, it’s like nothing that I’ve read!

Emily does an amazing job of luring you in without giving anything away. You’d think you’d need to have an understanding of what’s going on to be so pulled in, but that’s not the case at all, as proven by The Betty Chronicles.


“On the table by the door was another glass of champagne and a folded note card addressed to me. I opted to drink first this time, knowing that I'd need the courage once I'd read my instructions. With slightly trembling hands, I reached for my orders and began to read.

Sit in the center of the bed and pleasure yourself. Take your time and bring yourself to orgasm three times. Use whatever you need. The room is yours.”

What is Bella getting herself into?? I’m not sure, but I like it!

In the next chapter, on the other side of a two-way mirror, Edward does too.


“I watched as Isabella's face contorted with her climax; her head was thrown back and her body arched, shifting the covers slightly to reveal her sweaty, enticing body. She panted and writhed as she worked herself into a frenzy again and again, each breathtaking moment erotic and exotic because she was in her own little world, where only the needs of her body dominated.

I watched in an awed silence as she continued well past the three we demanded from her. Only when her needs were sated did she stop and redress.

"She's stays," I said simply, watching as Isabella Swan made her way out of the room.”

Emily delivers some serious hotness… and we haven’t even gotten to a lemon yet! Edward is just as impatient as the rest of us…


“Something about her drew my attention, and I couldn't seem to figure out what that was. She seemed different than the others, like I couldn't really get a lock on who she truly was. She was contradiction in the flesh. Beauty with self-consciousness, prudence that was somehow alluring, and modesty with a spark of sensuality that had me purring inside. I wanted to know what made her tick, and that fascinated frustration she fueled in me only made me want her now. I didn't want to wait until the proper protocols and procedures were completed.

Fuck all that, I wanted silken sheets with sweaty bodies...preferably with her moaning my name at all hours of the night.”

Gah! I love the parallels drawn to canon in this fic that couldn’t be much farther from it.

Nine chapters in (well, eight and the prologue), and the pieces are beginning to fall together, but there are still so many questions left unanswered. This will totally keep me checking my inbox for an alert! I must read the smoldering lemon we’re building up to! I must learn more about the elusive sex-group, The Cullens, and all that their training entails! But mostly, I must find out where I can apply to join in on the hedonism!

Come and read with me so we can find out together!

The Betty Chronicles on

The Betty Chronicles on Twilighted

Emily Bowden on Twitter

The Betty Chronicles Blog


Hump Your Readers Wednesday 7.28.2010

Every Wednesday we will let authors spotlight the reviews that made them feel all fuzzy inside!

Review by Bella Gattino

Chapter 6
Okay, how-where do I even start?
When I saw the summary of this... I was curious. It sounded just like what I was looking for. I wanted sex. 

Sex between Jacob and ANYONE but Bella would be good.

What I got was great, fantastic, AMAZING even!

To say that I loved it wouldn't be near enough, to say that you have me addicted to it would be putting it lightly.

I love how you used everything from the books in a totally different but similar pattern.

Jacob is PERFECT, that is how I see him in my mind. I don't see him as an 18 year old kid... he's always older to me. Perhaps it's my way of protecting myself from feeling like a cradle robber. (grins)

Anyway I'm rambling and I'm sorry for that but I wanted you to know that I absolutely loved the story, I'm waiting anxiously for the newest chapter and I just wan't wait to see what happens next.


Review by mscope

Chapter 4
How in the hell does this story have so few reviews? This is without a doubt one of the best teen stories I have read.

Okay so now I forgot everything I was going to say. Need to focus! Let's see. First James. He is so drawn to Bella. I don't understand what could have gone so horribly wrong for them? He seems drawn to her vulnerability and have feelings for her he never thought possible. It is like he is able to be himself when he is with her and not have to put on errors or live up to someone else's standards. We know he is there a week (?) earlier than everyone else so my guess is that once his friends arrive he will be back to the old bro's before ho's mentality. And the shame is he is going to throw it all away. Another thought that came to me ... You know there is nothing that says they had to have sex. What if the bro's assume as much and James does not correct them. Don't you know that would piss any girl off, so why would Bella be any different? 

Bella's showing up at his school is really doing a number on him as evidenced by his recurring Rolling Stone moments of Satisfaction. There is the part of me that feels bad for him and his image ... NOT. The reader has to love Bella with her strength and tell it like it is demeanor. Loved the way she handled him in Physics. I get the feeling he is resigned to the fact that he really blew it. Does he have a prayer in hell in getting her back.

I am also looking at the Jasper/Bella dynamic. You are writing it pretty low key but I can't help but wonder where that will go. And then of course there is the Emmett/Bella dynamic. So far that has stayed pretty platonic and I hope with that is in me that it will remain like that. I can't help but feel there will come the time that Bella is going to really need the "big brother" she can turn to. Ah, maybe I have just read too much fan fiction, lol.

I haven't said much about the girls and quite frankly I don't have much of a grasp on them although a couple of them do stand out. First is Angela. We haven't seen much of her and all that we have really heard is that she is Edward's girlfriend. We don't know much about that relationship and the thought has crossed my mind that it is only for looks *shrugs shoulders*, a mutual agreement of sorts. I hope that she and Bella are going to form a friendship and we will get more perspective.

Tanya on the other hand has my attention because of her relationship with Edward. She openly seeks his companionship and although we were told the ground rules for sharing in the beginning I don't think she wants to share. And as easy as it has been to sneer at her in the first chapters I find my tune has changed a little after her conversation with her mama. What is it with these men of the rich and infamous? Don't you know that Tanya has to be hurt that this is all she gets and yet she puts out and takes what she can get in hopes of more. I can't help but feel bad for her. On the other hand if it were to come down to her and Bella, well all I can say is the bitch better move out the way. Then I scoff at my own double standard. 

I have saved Edward for the last. Yeah that man child holds a piece of heart no matter what his age. Don't you know that Bella has his full attention. Having her in his home has to be hard on him, no pun intended. They are going to develop a relationship whether they want one or not. The question is what will it consist of? I could go on and on here but instead I will leave after two more thoughts. 

1. What is the Swan/Cullen connection that brought Bella to Edward's house in the first place.
2. Is Edward the friend that James talked about with the older brother?

And with that I leave you. I believe you may have a chapter to write, after real life committments of course. And I have a story to pimp.


All That Jazz by javamomma0921

chap. 5
That was phenomenal. I can tell that you did your work for this. The contrast between characters is so brilliantly done. The truth to the time period is really refreshing. It doesn't feel like your knowledge came from some slapshot Hollywood movie, although Chicago is a fantastic movie lol. I really cannot wait for more of this. It's totally my favourite story now and I really think that if you changed the names of the characters you could get this published to a real book. For shizzle. 

And I really like that Edward gets his parents in this one. It's always nice to see that he gets his family like it should be.

Review by Jadalulu

Chapter 5
Okay so this chapter kinda highlights what I love about your writing. Their chemistry is so awesome. You keep it understated enough that it's realistic. You douse it with enough humor and awkwardness that it doesn't feel rushed. And, uh, HELLO UST! Can I get an Amen? Haha! "Youth these days..." Their digs at each other about age are hysterical! And Bella? I LOVE this version of her. She has her own share of drama but she's a scrappy little thing. I hate whiney, spineless Bellas so I'm so glad I found this. And vulnerable Edward? THANK YOU! I've been begging anyone and everyone to rec me some more good ones. The Unaccompanied Soul, The Vampire in the Basement, etc. Those are really good but I need more. I'm your fic's bitch. Thought you should know. P.S.-Eddie's a lucky little fucker for getting to tag along!


Friday's Fic Fit 7.23.2010

Every Friday, we’ll ease your cravings for a hit/fic by passing on something that’s been rec’d to us. This means that if there’s a fic you wanna see, you’ll need to submit it! Stories that fit the theme of our upcoming podcast are most appreciated.

For today’s reading pleasure, Jess would like to rec Stolen Souls by Nayarit.

Nym said, “This fic, is some thing I would never take the time to read, I am usually put off any fic with dark themes, and this one has ""very Dark themes"" I convinced a friend to pre read it chapter, for chapter with me, because I am such a chicken!

Phew!!! It is like nothing I have ever read, and I have read alot! Its themes are so real, so deep and the plot is so intense. I have been rec'ing it pretty hard and I still think that is truely deserves the time to be taken to read. It needs some loving! I think it will encourage this truely talented author to continue with this disturbingly addictive read... Please please please read this!!


Stolen Souls by Jules


Twilight and Pixie are dancers at a prominent gentlemen's club in lower Chicago called Novolunie. This is the story of the two mysterious dancers' haunted existence as told through the eyes of the other lives that weave through them. And in one night everything will change. What happens when life as you knew it wasn't what you thought at all, and will never again be the same? Tortured pasts, jumbled futures, secrets, lies, betrayals, and salvation and love where you least expect it bleed together and all center around one thing--the stable. When life changes and pasts, presents, and futures all crash into another, who will survive? NC-17/DARK/OOC

Jess’ official pimping:

I actually discovered this fic when there were only three chapters. I read them and loved them, but when the updates came in, I didn’t find the time to keep up with them. So when I saw this fic had been rec’d to us, I knew it was time to catch up!

I struggled with how best to pimp this fic because the plot is so thick and so twisted that to try and summarize here would just butcher it. Also, the characters are so unique but still clearly carry canon traits, and they all have complicated backstories, which haven’t all been explained yet, so, again, I don’t want to butcher them.

This fic contains every dark theme you can think of, but it pulls you in with a strong sense of a light at the end of the darkest tunnel you’ve ever read. It’s not a bright light, and we haven’t been promised an HEA, but I still think you can feel that it’s gotta get better than the way things start out, even if it may have to get worse first.

Briefly put, Bella and Alice are sisters that were forced into slavery when they were orphaned. They’re now strippers and prostitutes with no way out in sight. Jasper and Edward visit the club for Edward’s bachelor party, and though both meet their respective ladies and feel an attraction, only Jasper makes the important connection that Alice is his other half and that the club is much more than it seems.

Well-written, well-thought out, and well-developed, this fic leaves you with a lot of questions – in the good way. She tells the story from all the points of view, and each character has real depth and some serious personal flaws. I love the way they connect over the darkest parts of themselves. Even Jasper, the main hero thus far, is quite dark himself and willing to do things to save the day that most heroes would frown upon.

Unable to make Stolen Souls fit into a neat box for this FFF, I’ll leave you here with some of the quotes that really stood out to me.

“V moem mire spasenie prihodit v grobu.”

“In our world salvation only comes in a coffin.”


“Twilight was crawling her way toward bills that men held out and giving them specific attention, spreading her thighs in front of them and letting them put the bills in her mouth. My blood boiled. I couldn't decide what upset me more: that they were using her or that I wasn't. As she made her way around the men and bills, I couldn't stop watching the way her chocolate waves caressed across her creamy skin or how she licked her red tinted lips or how she ran her red nails over the skin of her thighs or lower stomach. All too soon she was leaving the stage and I had to physically tense to keep myself from getting up and following her.”


“I was left in the room completely bare--literally--and it had never been truer. Nothing made sense to me anymore. I didn't even know who I was; I had changed so drastically in such a short amount of time. And I couldn't help the disgust that built up in me.

Disgust with myself for hurting Tanya and not being what she deserved.

Disgust with her for loving me regardless.

Disgust with the beautiful addict for needing to supply her habit.

Disgust with her for faking her orgasm; but most of all disgust in myself for not caring.

I didn't care that she faked it with me. I didn't care that her enjoyment was second to mine. I didn't care that her eyes were lifeless and bleak. I didn't care that she had a drug problem. I didn't care that Tanya loved me. I didn't care that I broke a promise to her. I didn't care that I had become a pathetic excuse for a man in less than one night. I didn't care that I had every reason to want to stay away from the mysterious beauty.

Because it didn't matter; I didn't want to stay away.

And that disgusted me more than anything.”


“I was beginning to hate retrospection. It's worse than a fucking parasite. And it was sucking me dry. But I was thinking that the whole "hindsight was twenty-twenty" thing was spitting in my face. There was no doubt in my mind that I messed up and if I even had the faintest idea of what I was getting myself into, I would have come better prepared. I saw the game that the big, blue-eyed one with the tattoos and accent was playing at. And I knew it was a trap, but I couldn't do anything because I was already caught. And I had never felt more stupid in my entire life. Part of me, and a part that I'm not too proud of, wished I could say that if I knew what I was getting myself into, I might not have come. But it was a lie. If I knew then just how dangerous this place was, I would have come sooner.

Alice was here.”


"I don't know what the hell is going on. I feel like I'm walking around outside my body and watching this movie play out in front of me. I know it's me, but in some twisted paradox it's not. Ever since last night . . . Jasper, I don't even know who I am anymore, nothing makes sense. Everything I've done in less than the past twenty-four hours has been completely unlike me, but yet I've done these things. I recognize that they are my actions, but I don't understand them. I really feel as though I'm in this haze and I can't grab onto anything concrete; everything is just superficial. I seriously have no fucking idea what to do here; nothing makes any sense at all. I haven't felt like this since . . . since last time and . . . fuck, I'm so tired of this. I don't like it and it fucking scares me. I thought it was over."


“I hadn't realized that tears ran down my face until their salty taste pricked my lips. It was mixed with the heavy, black mascara I was wearing. The tightening in my chest was the sweetest burn, and I hugged the little note to my body like he had once hugged me to his. In my entire life I had never met anyone like this Jasper, and I would tell myself time and time again to not get my hopes up about him, but I couldn't help it.”

Go read Stolen Souls, tell Nayarit that the TwiFic Pimps sent you, and revel in this beautifully dark fic!

Stolen Souls on

Stolen Souls on Twilighted

Stolen Souls Forum Thread

Stolen Souls Video


Hump Your Readers Wednesday 7.21.2010

Every Wednesday we will let authors spotlight the reviews that made them feel all fuzzy inside!

Review by Jennmc75
Chapter 13
I loved Bella giving him the snow-globe.  That was such an awesome gift.  The cell phone was extremely practical in the sense that adding her to his plan would normally only cost like $10 a month.  I'm sure Edward didn't' get her the free cheapy phone you get with adding a line but still, the cost of the phone is usually discounted so it's really not an extravagant gift.

I'm so glad you added her parents questioning her about Jake's phone call.  That was exactly the reaction I expected from both of them.

Edward beating himself up over lusting after Bella was so canon.  Thanks for adding that in too.  That is such a part of his character that I think we need to see him suffer a bit in his head.  There's nothing better than a brooding Eddie ;)

Yay for Edward not saying no, but saying not right now.  Hopefully that set Bella's mind at ease.

Great job with this chapter!  Can't wait for 14 :)

A Dream Is A Wish Your Heart Makes by  Confettirainfall
Review by Caius09
Chapter 13
I really want to slap Bella. She was rather childish at the beginning of this chapter. Only thing missing was a foot stomp. She sure does come on a little strong for someone so shy.

Confetti, I love you for PurrWard! ""I want you!""... Oh my! I think I just melted.

And yup, I still want to smack Bella. I never liked her attitude towards presents or surprises. When a guy wants to woo you, you let him. Unless it's a guy like Newton, then yeah, even I'd refuse.

Loved how sweet Edward was at the end and effectively turning Bella's attention away from sex, LOL.

Becoming Bella Swan by BellaFlan
Review by Katinki
Chapter 48
This made me cry. I hate you and love you all at once. And I'm not going to theorize since that wouldn't be fair.

""The pills?"" It was a question posed to myself, since I was alone in my head. Edward was nothing but shards of glass: cold, sharp, and so beautiful. / ""You took them,"" he confirmed, and rainbows bounced off of his skin. / ""Am I dead, Edward?"" / ""We're running out of time."" / ... / ""Bella..."" / ""It's over, Edward."" I drew back the curtain, searching, always searching for something that couldn't possibly be there. / ... / ""Fuck, Edward. How could you do this to me? How could you let me believe this was real?"" / ""I just want to take you home,"" he repeated. He was beautiful in the moonlight. Somehow he was sparkling, the delicate light through the window casting shadows on his face, emphasizing his dramatic bone structure. / Now that it was too late, I knew I wanted to go home with him. More than anything, I wanted us to be together forever. / ""Goodbye."" / ""I'm not leaving you,"" he insisted.

""Edward was nothing but shards of glass: cold, sharp, and so beautiful."" - that is actually my favorite line in this entire fic.

Review by BuffBronze
I knew he'd fuck up....I knew he'd fuck up in the very first chapter....not even the first chapter....the prologue...he fucked up in the prologue....*sigh* that's my man....hehe

I just love that Bella has him by the balls.....and pup's on her side too of course.

Jo...i seriously love you for bringing the Dick and Swan back to us...can't wait to get into the mystery of the airline princess...cos you write the mystery sooooooooooo good.

<3 Have I told you lately that I love you??? <3 LOL, 'cause I do :)

Glad to have the Dick back in all his magnificent glory *sighs* How I've missed him. And the Swan and the rest of the gang, this sure will be one hell of a ride ;)

And the Dick is so pussy whiped, which is very apropiate, you know.

Can't wait for more and Peace, Love & Patron to you my darling

Review by Cullenary
awwww-its so good to have him back !  I Love that your writing these to with thier personalitites still completely in tact!  WAY more real and makes me jump up and down and squee with all the fuckery and fighting and shit that your gonna have fun writing!  And th continuation of my favorite work that should be added to the dictionary-fuckery, of course!  I also think its a riot that thier fighting about business cards!  Thats so fuckin funny and kills me cuz I had a boyfriend and made him business cards and he thought they sucked and it gave me a complex and I STILL haven't forgiven the fucker!(21 yrs ago and I STILL bitch about it!) But if it had been Cullen I would have blown him and thrown them in the trash!  Lov3 ya JoJo! Thanks for writing!xoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxooxo

Losing Control by StupidLeeches
Review by MoonyMoonsault
Chapter 15
This story is fucking amazing!

AH-MA-ZING! I can not put it into words, but I spend the whole night reading all chapters.. Its 4 in the morning now and I have to get up at 6... BUT IT WAS WORTH IT!

Please update soon, I'm dying to find out what's going to happen...

Lillah and Embry are a perfect couple!:D


Losing Control by StupidLeeches
Review by valelf
Chapter 15
Oh, he is SO busted! I can't wait to find out what happens next! Give him hell, Lillah!

I loved the girl talks! This is just so good! These updates make me actually look forward to Tuesdays.

Fantastic chapter, Ladies!

Losing Control by StupidLeeches
Review by todream
Chapter 15
Oooh, that Embry is in Trou-ble. I wondered what she was going to do about the clothes thing. Oh, and the bite marks and hickeys...she's already embarrassed about everything.

He needs to realize that he has to let her know he loves her and wants her before he can even start to be protective like that.

She doesn't know he imprinted on her, does she?

You have me captivated by their relationship...I can't wait for more.

Exclusively by BoydBlog
Review by annatwo
chapter 2
I'm sorry I didn't review after I read the first chapter but I was absolutely awed by this story and just couldn't stop reading. I love Maya Banks and Lori Leigh and think they are great  writers of erotic stories with an actual storyline but they have nothing on you! I loved both points of view and I think the mark of a really good writer when you can write in two different perspectives enhancing an understanding of the storyline and bringing an increased depth to the emotions involved in the story.  Honestly one of the best stories I've read in a long time.

Review by CrookedSmile
Chapter 1
I'm only posting this partially, because it's just way too long to post the whole thing, but this....this is why I write:

""I never got the chance to say that before. The more you wait for something, the more your expectations gets higher. And the more your expectations are high, the more you are likely to get disappointed. When you send the prologue, I was so excited and anxious for you. Was wondering about how the respons will be. The response was great. Cause, the prologue was great. And now, with the first chapter, I see it one more time that, you don't disappoint. I don't say it in a ""saying shit like that and putting a goddamn responsibility on your shoulders"" way. Just meaning that, I thing the Dick represent some part of you and he is so close to you that, you paint the picture so clear. So very real. So fucking perfect. There is no inconsistency within the characters. If someone comes and asks a question about ""how would The Dick react to this or that?"" the reader would probably be able to give the correct answer. You gave us a route and before all of us, you are loyal to that. ""

*happy sigh*

What the Dead Know Chapter by DazzledbyJake
Review by MCvelvetkitten
Chapter 10

Thats what I meant when I said I was thinking something REALLY bad about Charlie!!! I KNEW HE WOULD ARREST JAKE! I KNEW!!! Well I didnt know what for but I had a feeling he will and he did so =P


and hell to the no - no panties for Ness, in fact, all of her panties should magically disaper...the Panty fairy should take them away... all of them XD

Dazz ur driving me mental! AWESOME!!!

What the Dead Know by DazzledbyJake
Review by WendyD
Chapter 10
Daz! Wow! I am almost speechless with freakin' horror!

OK, so Leah is a hooker hobag and needs to back off! I am so freakin' suspicious of her right gut is going crazy!

Who has a grudge so big that they would be willing to frame Jake...and hurt Nessie so bad? LEAH anyone? Anyone willing to take that bet yet? Forget Victoria...she is crazy, but Leah is just plain mean, spiteful and an angry bi'atch!

Yes, Daz, you have flared my temper...and my aggravation...sorry babe!

Now, I so freakin' loved the kitchen scene...gonna be hard to ""try that position again"" if he is IN...JAIL!

Poor know he did not want to do it. but had no choice...somehow, they better get freakin' busy and figure out what is going on and who is doing this...

I bet Leah was watching Jake and Nessie through a window...freakin' voyeur and all!

Sorry...I better stop! LOL!

All and all... this was a great chapter and things are slowly coming together and I cannot wait for the next chapter...



Your favorite...or not...

Stalker Fan...Wendy D