Friday's Fic Fit 7.2.2010 - Pimp Audio Style!


Click the player above to listen right here on our site or click the apple below to download on iTunes.

Every Friday, we’ll ease your cravings for a hit/fic by passing on something that’s been rec’d to us. This means that if there’s a fic you wanna see, you’ll need to submit it! Stories that fit the theme of our upcoming podcast are most appreciated.

Post Jack! This week, not one, not two, but three Pimps were pwned hardcore and are stealing this post to tell you about a fuckawesome fic that we stumbled across on our own. Your regularly scheduled Friday Fic Fit will return next Friday.

For today's reading pleasure, Flanny, Jess, and Kari would like to rec Paper Heart by Hezpixie.


Summary:
Edward, a blossoming author, and Bella, a struggling actress, first fell in love under the bright lights of New York City. Five years later, Edward is gone, and Bella is left to pick up the pieces of a broken marriage and a shattered heart.

This is the story of their five years together. We begin at the end. We end at the beginning. And somewhere in between, they realize just how easy it is to lose each other along the way.

Official pimping:

We tried, honestly, to write something up about this fic, but we were all just too excited. So, we Skyped and recorded it for you. It's nice and short, but here's the moral: Read Paper Heart!!





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Friday's Fic Fit 6.25.2010


Every Friday, we’ll ease your cravings for a hit/fic by passing on something that’s been rec’d to us. This means that if there’s a fic you wanna see, you’ll need to submit it! Stories that fit the theme of our upcoming podcast are most appreciated.

For today's reading pleasure, Flanny would like to rec Under the Apple Tree by danieller123.

FL95 said: "It's some of the best written, heart clenching fanfiction out there right now. Every chapter dani writes just pulls on your heart strings and she doesn't need 10,000 words to do it. Not that there's anything wrong with that. ;)"





Summary:
Love that hurts can sometimes heal. Ever wish you could go back and change something you did in life? Bella does. E x B, AH


Flanny's official pimpage: Under the Apple Tree hit me like a freight train. Seriously.
I already knew the author as a reviewer, and I had bookmarked her fic to read when I had a chance, simply because I liked her. When the rec came in on the blog, immediately I attached my name to it for review.
It’s not often that a fic grabs me by my figurative balls.
Readers be warned, this does not start out as a pretty story. It’s dark and brutal, with a simple, straightforward narrative that is almost unsettling:
This guy is not as gentle as Newton. He likes role playing and spanking. He doesn't give pet names and he degrades as he fucks me. He wants me to look at him and he tells me the truth about myself the whole time. He's twice Mike's size, in every area, and it hurts. He's paying twice as much, but I want out.
I want him out.
Bella is a stripper and, when necessity dictates, also a prostitute with a sordid history, while Edward is a respected Paediatrician. Before you get any ideas, I need to stress; this story isn’t Pretty Woman at all. I mean, we’ve all read Hookerella fics before, but what makes Under the Apple Tree different is that it’s completely plausible. I find myself emotionally invested at every step.
Dani’s writing is nuanced with poignant imagery, conveyed in a clear, almost journalistic manner:
He is no longer human, no longer just a simple human man. He isn't married, he isn't a father and he isn't civilized. He is a child who watched his mother get a rifle-butt to the head, an open hand across her cheek and a fist in her eye. He is a teenager who learned how to become a man from street thugs. He is the person who cuts your lawn and trims your bushes and you don't even know his name. He is a green a uniform and a, "Good Morning, Mrs. Newton," and someone you talk about with your tennis friends because he has a body like a God and your husband fucks other women.
Edward and Bella are both flawed in this story, only Bella’s flaws are closer to the surface whereas Edward’s scars are buried deeper.
The reader spends a lot of time squirming uncomfortably in Bella’s head as she suffers through an unwanted pregnancy while living on the streets. Meanwhile, Edward is tormenting himself over the loss of his wife, while dutifully playing the role of Bella’s saviour. Through interactions with other characters, the author examines the theme of salvation and what makes a person deserving of it.
Without giving away any spoilers, the story does eventually take a turn towards the romantic:
I laugh and simply sit up. I take her hand and pull her with me. The room is dark and it is approaching night time; dusk. Dim grey light. The fire place isn't on. I was trying to keep the fever away. There is a new one. My hands go around her waist, fingers locking behind her back. Her arms rest on mine and we are not so much dancing; more like swaying back and forth. It is right. It is wrong. I am wrong. It is just a dance, casual. My body disagrees. The heat in my face and under my breastbone disagrees. The tingling under my skin disagrees.
Despite the heartfail, I found this story a smooth and quick read. Dani updates regularly and is quite responsive to reviews, so make sure to send her some love when you check out her story.
Links:

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Friday's Fic Fit 6.04.2010


Every Friday, we’ll ease your cravings for a hit/fic by passing on something that’s been rec’d to us. This means that if there’s a fic you wanna see, you’ll need to submit it! Stories that fit the theme of our upcoming podcast are most appreciated.
Post Jack! This week, a Pimp was pwned hardcore and is stealing this post to tell you about a fuckawesome fic that she stumbled across on her own. Your regularly scheduled Friday Fic Fit will return next Friday.
For today’s reading pleasure, Flanny would like to rec Get Me to You by Chicklette.




Summary:

Winner of Winter 2010 Indie! Pet names and Pop Tarts. Sunday mornings with Etta and Ella. Cibola. Candymouth. You finally realize the truth. What if it's too late? M for drinking, drug use, sex and effing language. ExBxJxAxEm/POV, AH, OOC.
Flanny's official pimping:
Get Me to You opens with:
“It didn't matter that it wasn't going to work with me and Edward. It didn't matter that I loved him with my whole heart, and it didn't matter that for one perfect afternoon and one perfect night he had loved me that way too.”
I surmise that indeed, it didn’t matter that Chicklette wrote this entire story using run-on sentences. It didn’t matter that she broke rules of grammar by turning her nose up at the use of silly punctuation such as quotation marks, and it didn’t matter that for one perfect afternoon I fell head-over-heels in love with this unique, beautiful and utterly haunting fic. Oh wait, it did! That’s why I’ve hijacked the Friday Fic Fit!
As soon as I finished reading this magnum opus, I hit twitter, begging for people to discuss the fic with me. Surely someone else in the fandom had laughed and cried and bled over this story too? I need to quote her again. I have no words to accurately convey the unique narrative voice this author employs:
“So I take her kisses in the hallway and when she gets that look like she's the deer and they're the Hummer I take her hand and I pull her out of it because that's what you do when you love somebody. And I love that girl. Be clear on that. It might not be the crushing, killing love that I have for Alice, but it's love and it's real and if Cullen comes calling I might just have to fight him. For Sunday mornings. Candymouth. Etta and Ella and cotton panties.”
After reading every chapter, I left the following spastic review: I've never quite read a story narrated this way, like a drunk prom queen who also happens to be the the valedictorian; she's rambling out every POV at once without taking a breath or bothering with silly things like quotation marks. I have to think on this one. I think it's made my top ten list of all-time favourite fanfics. I fucking love you!
Without revealing too much, the story opens with canon pairings, but soon it becomes evident that the author is ‘shipping Bella and Jasper. I don’t typically read Jasper fics, however this Jasper made me fall in love. He’s beautiful and achingly lovable. Only a woman could create a man this perfect.
The story is all human, retaining certain elements of canon character personas: Rosalie is snarky, Alice is flighty, and Emmett is, well, Emmett:
“So someone finally tapped Bella. I got to say, it is about damn time. Because that girl has been flaunting that shit since she got here. She's been sitting on laps and kissing cheeks and necks and hands and I sure as fuck was certain that it was all for Eddie. But damn, when I saw the way Jasper's hand curved around her ass, just for a second there, I knew that my boy had tapped that shit, and it was still going strong.”
But nothing could have prepared me for Chicklette’s Jasper, whom I love more than any Jasper who ever came before him:
“The next morning I go to the kitchen and Mama's got a hot cup of tea for me and she says did I see Bella leaving here this morning and I just nod. I like her, you know, she says and I know. I sit down and the table and she gives me a good long looking over. You two patch things up, she asks. I look into my cup and shake my head. Didn't think so, she says, and wraps her arms around my neck.
Then she says baby boy, and she holds me tight and I need it and she knows it. Mama, I say and she says shush now and holds me a little longer. I feel small and loved and it's healing but I don't deserve it.”
This story burned life back into my cold heart. Read it. Get thee to Chicklette’s “Get Me to You” and tell her that BellaFlan and The Pimps sent you.
And now back to our regularly scheduled programming...

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Friday's Fic Fit 5.21.2010



Every Friday, we’ll ease your cravings for a hit/fic by passing on something that’s been rec’d to us. This means that if there’s a fic you wanna see, you’ll need to submit it! Stories that fit the theme of our upcoming podcast are most appreciated.
For today’s reading pleasure, Flanny would like to rec Cullen, Unscripted by FL95.
FL95 submitted her own fic to us because, as you may know, a rec is the only way to see something appear as a Friday Fic Fit. If there’s a fic you’d like see us rec, your own or someone else’s, click the button to your left and tell us about it!
Summary:
When Edward Cullen scores an entry level internship as a writer for his distant Uncle's TV Station immediately following College, his life takes some funny turns as he makes new friends and finds love. AH, BxE, Rated L for Lemons, Laughing and Language.
Flanny’s official pimping:
I’d venture to say that the story should be rated C as well, for a Cocky Cullen Comedy. FL95’s style, which I got to know by reading Dick, is straight forward, self-aware and quite charming. In this story, Eddie-boy might have landed a choice job by many people’s standards, but he is a landmine of misfortune. Take this lovely example of clumsiness and misconstrued signals as exhibit A:
“This is that part of the story where I really wish I could rewind the events I'm about to tell you about, delete them, replace them with something a little more…not quite so embarrassing, and then live my life without shame.
But alas, here's what actually happened.
See when Bella leaned in like that, I thought she was leaning in to kiss me, not to TALK to me.
Stupid, yeah, I know, but in the moment, what else was I supposed to think?
So I leaned toward her, closing my eyes, puckering a little, in the anticipation to feel her soft, perfect lips against mine, hearing nothing but John Mayer in my head, singing that song about dancing in a burning room.
Then I heard a very quiet, very nervous, "Um…."
"What the fuck are you doing, monkey?" came another voice from not so far away and I snapped my eyes open, only to be met with a blushing, doe eyed, shocked Bella, her mouth slightly ajar, backing away slowly.
My equilibrium was thrown off, my mouth became dry and I fell forward, into Bella. My hands threw themselves into her for balance, I swear, but landed square on her breasts and she screamed.”
Another stylistic choice which the author makes that I enjoy, is the way she unabashedly breaks down the fourth wall of fiction; making the reader an active participant in the narrative:
"Consanguineous," she answered…saying it with the utmost matter of factness. It was like I didn't even NEED to give her any direction, she just knew how the line needed to be said.
Her voice was like a song.
I needed to write her more lines.
Oh yeah, consanguineous, by the way…that means they're of the same blood…related by birth, descended from the same parent or ancestor. I like big words.
She also writes Bella’s POV, but I have to say, my preference is first person Edward, which is what this author is most skilled at... although I did enjoy Bella’s take on her scene partner, Mike’s, penchant for onion bagels before the kissy kissy scenes. In the words of The Amazingly Talented Miss Isabella Swan POV:
Blech.”
Don’t expect flowery language or angst, and you will not be disappointed. Meh, the world has enough angst and sometimes, a girl just wants to get off and laugh. Is that too much to ask for? Nah-uh. I’m pleased to pimp this fic which is full of witty dialogue, an ongoing, first person inner narrative with a casual conversational tone, and one of the hottest first kisses in comedic fic.
This fic has my crack-whorish approval, due to the dry wit and sexy, yet simple narrative style.
So go check it out and tell FL95 that The Pimps sent you.

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