Friday's Fic Fit 6.04.2010

Every Friday, we’ll ease your cravings for a hit/fic by passing on something that’s been rec’d to us. This means that if there’s a fic you wanna see, you’ll need to submit it! Stories that fit the theme of our upcoming podcast are most appreciated.

Post Jack! This week, a Pimp was pwned hardcore and is stealing this post to tell you about a fuckawesome fic that she stumbled across on her own. Your regularly scheduled Friday Fic Fit will return next Friday.

For today’s reading pleasure, Flanny would like to rec Get Me to You by Chicklette.

Summary:

Winner of Winter 2010 Indie! Pet names and Pop Tarts. Sunday mornings with Etta and Ella. Cibola. Candymouth. You finally realize the truth. What if it's too late? M for drinking, drug use, sex and effing language. ExBxJxAxEm/POV, AH, OOC.

Flanny's official pimping:

Get Me to You opens with:

“It didn't matter that it wasn't going to work with me and Edward. It didn't matter that I loved him with my whole heart, and it didn't matter that for one perfect afternoon and one perfect night he had loved me that way too.”

I surmise that indeed, it didn’t matter that Chicklette wrote this entire story using run-on sentences. It didn’t matter that she broke rules of grammar by turning her nose up at the use of silly punctuation such as quotation marks, and it didn’t matter that for one perfect afternoon I fell head-over-heels in love with this unique, beautiful and utterly haunting fic. Oh wait, it did! That’s why I’ve hijacked the Friday Fic Fit!

As soon as I finished reading this magnum opus, I hit twitter, begging for people to discuss the fic with me. Surely someone else in the fandom had laughed and cried and bled over this story too? I need to quote her again. I have no words to accurately convey the unique narrative voice this author employs:

“So I take her kisses in the hallway and when she gets that look like she's the deer and they're the Hummer I take her hand and I pull her out of it because that's what you do when you love somebody. And I love that girl. Be clear on that. It might not be the crushing, killing love that I have for Alice, but it's love and it's real and if Cullen comes calling I might just have to fight him. For Sunday mornings. Candymouth. Etta and Ella and cotton panties.”

After reading every chapter, I left the following spastic review: I've never quite read a story narrated this way, like a drunk prom queen who also happens to be the the valedictorian; she's rambling out every POV at once without taking a breath or bothering with silly things like quotation marks. I have to think on this one. I think it's made my top ten list of all-time favourite fanfics. I fucking love you!

Without revealing too much, the story opens with canon pairings, but soon it becomes evident that the author is ‘shipping Bella and Jasper. I don’t typically read Jasper fics, however this Jasper made me fall in love. He’s beautiful and achingly lovable. Only a woman could create a man this perfect.

The story is all human, retaining certain elements of canon character personas: Rosalie is snarky, Alice is flighty, and Emmett is, well, Emmett:

“So someone finally tapped Bella. I got to say, it is about damn time. Because that girl has been flaunting that shit since she got here. She's been sitting on laps and kissing cheeks and necks and hands and I sure as fuck was certain that it was all for Eddie. But damn, when I saw the way Jasper's hand curved around her ass, just for a second there, I knew that my boy had tapped that shit, and it was still going strong.”

But nothing could have prepared me for Chicklette’s Jasper, whom I love more than any Jasper who ever came before him:

“The next morning I go to the kitchen and Mama's got a hot cup of tea for me and she says did I see Bella leaving here this morning and I just nod. I like her, you know, she says and I know. I sit down and the table and she gives me a good long looking over. You two patch things up, she asks. I look into my cup and shake my head. Didn't think so, she says, and wraps her arms around my neck.

Then she says baby boy, and she holds me tight and I need it and she knows it. Mama, I say and she says shush now and holds me a little longer. I feel small and loved and it's healing but I don't deserve it.”

This story burned life back into my cold heart. Read it. Get thee to Chicklette’s “Get Me to You” and tell her that BellaFlan and The Pimps sent you.

And now back to our regularly scheduled programming...

Get Me to You on FF.net

Twific Pimps FF.net C2

Friday's Fic Fit 5.28.2010

Every Friday, we’ll ease your cravings for a hit/fic by passing on something that’s been rec’d to us. This means that if there’s a fic you wanna see, you’ll need to submit it! Stories that fit the theme of our upcoming podcast are most appreciated.

For today’s reading pleasure, Jess would like to rec Healing Hands by IamKate

wordslinger told us “There really are so few Jake/Nessie fics out there that are worth reading. In even smaller numbers are interesting AH Jake/Nessie fics. This one is well written and the author seems to have a firm grasp of her character. It's humorous yet poignant.

Not to mention the idea of a young girl living the dream of actually getting that hot older guy, is... well... hot.”

I saw this in the queue and jumped on it for three reasons: 1) This is the only Jacob fic that’s been rec’d yet. Where are you Team Jacob? 2) Like wordslinger said, the young girl living the dream of getting the hot, older guy is… well… hot. 3) wordslinger has rec’d some awesome fics to me in the past, and I couldn’t wait to chat with her about another awesome fic!

Summary:

Jacob Black stood by as the woman he loved, Bella, married another man. Years later, Jake's injured in an accident. The only one who can help him recover is his god-daughter Nessie…Bella's daughter who happens to be in love with her much older friend. AH

Jess’ official pimping:

This is a WIP that’s only five chapters in, and I was really sad to be caught up already (though I get to look forward to the updates!). While waiting for a new chapter, wordslinger and I gabbed about it some, and just ‘cause I like to be different, I’m gonna share (an edited version of) our conversation.

We’d both read all that's available of Healing Hands when we chatted, but since the fic is only five chapters in, any spoilers would be very mild. Our language, however, is not. You’ve been warned.

***

Jess: She has an amazing way of making the UST go from zero to sixty but it doesn’t feel rushed.

Wordslinger: Oh, I totally agree. It feels natural. It could be because she implied right off the bat that Nessie was in love with Jacob. Even at 13 and on his wedding day, no less! She’s obviously been holding a candle for him all these years.

It’s just a good romance. I really like it. I’m sure that’s obvious. I can’t stop going on about it, LOL!

Jess: I LOVED that wedding scene.

And, uh, I’m pretty sure I’d be holding a fucking torch for him. He’s Jacob for fuck’s sake!

Wordslinger: The wedding scene made me cry!

Jess: Aw, unfeeling wordslinger cried!! That is something to note! Kidding. I didn’t cry... but I’m sick so everything is only hitting me in a glossy sort of way anyway.

I know I’d fuck him in his wheelchair. It’d be fuckhot too. Don’t lie... I know you would. Go ahead... picture Taylor in a wheelchair and try to stay off of him.

Wordslinger: I’d totally fuck Taylor in a wheelchair. That’s some chair sex I could get into! LOL

Yeah I did cry. It was an intense scene! Re-read it when you’re not in a sick fog. I promise, it’s heart wrenching.

Jess: I don’t know that there’s any fanfic that’s ever made me cry. I’ve come close. And I did during that. But I think a part of me knows if I start crying then it’ll get harder to read!

Wordslinger: I’ve cried before. Kodak has programmed me to cry at fictional sentimental moments.

Jess: I don’t know why I don’t cry at more fanfic. I’m an easy crier. I really think it might have to do with being unable to read if I start crying.

Wordslinger: I cry during sappy commercials and songs. It’s pathetic.

It’s hooked me in because it seems so forbidden. The author makes a note at the beginning that (like me) her mom read a lot of Harlequin (and other various) romance novels. So, she had this thought to twist that into a Jake/Nessie fic. I’m enjoying it.

The author responded to all my reviews, which I always love!

Jess: Yea, it’s great. Her characters are really witty... which is always fun.

Wordslinger: It’s hot in a romance novel sort of way. I can’t say enough about that fic. It’s going to be so hot when they finally get busy. I’m in love with it. I’m intrigued by this notion of an older man like this. Funny and sentimental. So different for a Jake/Nessie fic! It’s just so different. I really like her characters too. They’re not stupid or unbelievable. It was just fun to read. Not to mention the promise of total hotness later.

It really leaves you wanting more. I grew up secretly reading my mom’s romance novel stash. That shit stays with you I guess.

Jess: I totally know what you mean.

***

Jess’ Final Thought: This fic is really unique and witty. The author is sort of going for the feel of classic Harlequin novels, and I think she’s pulling it off nicely. Jacob has an appropriately hard time dealing with his changing feelings for Ness but ultimately can’t deny them (thank god!).

So go check it out and tell IamKate that The Pimp sent you.

Healing Hands on FF.net

Healing Hands on Twilighted

Twific Pimps FF.net C2

Profile a Reader: Althea Pimps for Shawna

It’s quite a thrill when we can successfully
hook real life friends and family into this thing of ours. I’d LOVE to
contribute to the conversion by doin what I do: I like figuring out what
kinds of fics someone might dig, and finding stories that match. I’m
about to put my fic-loving geekheart on my sleeve and go all FBI
profiler on this one.

Here’s the listener request we received:

I need help! I'm getting my mom hooked on TwiFic but I am not sure what to rec next. She has read Wide Awake and The Lost Boys which she loved. I rec'd Boycotts and Barflies but it was not a strong enough story for her. I loved Boycotts and there are tons of fics that are similar in story and strength so I am trying to find something different. Also, she is my mom so I can't be rec'ing The Forbidden Room or anything too embarrassing for my mom to enjoy. Ewwww! EP sound good but I haven't read it...I have commitment issues. She could probably hang with some slash. She turned me onto Queer as Folk and True Blood..yah she is dirty! Weird for me. Help!

-- Shawna

Break out the theme music, it’s on!

(note: This is not a scientific process, just one reader’s opinion. And not the collective opinion of the Twific Pimps. So, grain of salt, people.)

Profile of a reader:

A momma, new to fic. I’m assuming she hasn’t read Twilight because so far you’ve given her all AH. She could probably handle some slash and might even go for some smuttiness sans extreme lemons. She prefers her stories strong, and don’t mind if I extrapollate, meaty.

Diagnosis:

• She wasn’t so into the fluffy, romantic hijinx of Boycotts and Barflies. She'd probably be into something with rich characters and compelling story development. She’d probably appreciate something that is crafty in its execution.
• Would perhaps be into a bit of mystery/intrigue, and open to a bit of the fantastic (hollerrr Lost Boys!).
• And, not afraid of a bit of angst (Wide Awake, I’m looking at you).
• The stories she’s liked so far have lemons associated with the well-developed buildup of UST. So she probably prefers her hot-frickety-hotness in context.

Recommendations:

The perfect fic for this reader profile is The Blessing and The Curse by TheBlackArrow

Two people connected since childhood, a mother's last dying wish, a triangle where Bella must choose between the safe road and the uncertain yet passionate road. TheBlackArrow’s writing is amazingly vivid, and her story is emotional and rich. The dynamic between this Edward and Bella is crazy in its intensity. There is history and chemistry and your momma is gonna love the lemon situation up in this story. That’s all I’ll say about that, mmkay. This story has a dark and mysterious Edward, a touch of the supernatural, and it’s got its share of angstiness. It is WIP and updates aren't that regular. But, it is worth noting that it is 100% worth reading.

Official description: By pretending she is falling for Edward, Bella is fulfilling Esme's dying wish. But sexy, possessive Edward can read her mind. Will she ever get into his? Can Bella forget the pain of her teenage years, and can she resist his relentless seduction? AH.

Other stories that might be up this reader’s alley...

University of Edward Masen by Sebastien Robichaud

This story is heady deliciousness, it has a huge build of UST, oh yes, and eventually lemons, too. The story is filled with intrigue which engages the reader from the start. I couldn’t figure out why this Edward was such a pompous asshole. But little did I know, that was just the tip of the iceberg of questions that emerge as we delve into the characters’ angsty pasts. As a sidebar, I learned a lot about Dante from reading this fic. It is very far along in the story (aka most of the story is already up and posted) and it is updated weekly.

Official description: Edward Masen is the selfish and brooding university professor; Bella Swan is his shy, but determined graduate student. Appearances can be deceiving. Have their paths crossed before? Rated M for good reason, all human, canon pairings.

The Mirrors by adorablecullens

This story’s premise definitely takes the reader into the realm of fantasy. However, much like The Lost Boys, the majority of this story takes place in the present day world of adults. The characters are relateable because, at one time or another, we all strive to reconnect to that time in our youth when we were in touch with the fantastic. This story is lovely and adorablecullens is one of our fandom’s great storytellers. Also, this story is complete.

Official description: Teddy's secret and magical childhood is lost when a family heirloom is destroyed, changing his life forever. Now an adult, can Edward open himself back up to magic and love when he meets a beautiful - and hauntingly familiar - woman in real life?

Hydraulic Level 5 by gondolier

The sheer creativity of this story blew me away. I am so invested in these characters and their world. Gondolier weaves a compelling tale, keeping the reader guessing with regards to Bella and Edward's relationship: what the hell happened in their past, and is there a future for them? In a creative twist, throughout the story Gondolier treats us to tastes of writer Edward's latest work - a fictionalized account of his youth with Bella. She doesn't just tell us that Edward is mega-successful, G brings us into his process and lets us sample the goods. Again, it fits the MO as a strong story, complete with intrigue and angst. FYI: this WIP story is almost done but updates are sporadic.

Official description: Critics hailed Edward Cullen’s novels as “masterful allegory” and "brimstone beauty"...a genius of our time. Whatever. I was his first kiss. First date. First love. I gave him my heart when I was four…and still, he left me for his stupid vampire books. AH WIP

About Emancipation Proclamation. You mentioned EP as a possible rec for your mom. It has a really original premise, a very engaging story, a well-loved fic that I have enjoyed reading. Some things to consider before you suggest it to your mom -- The character of Carlisle is a mafia boss who does some pretty twisted shit. As people who have read Twilight we are predisposed to see Carlisle as the personification of compassion and morality. His actions in EP might be shocking to us, but part of its success as a fanfic is that we as readers are hesitant to write him off, even if we want to. People who have not come to love the character of Carlisle in other contexts, might not be as forgiving of his heinous acts and might find it difficult to invest in his character and his mafia world. (this is just this reader’s opinion, though) Also worth noting: it is very long with very long chapters.

So that concludes this episode of Profile a Reader. I’ve been your host, AltheaJams, and it’s been real. Got a type of fic or reader preference you want profiled? Have a question you want to throw at the pimps? Send in your Questions, Comments, Concerns via THIS form.

Drop us a comment! We want to hear about what you would have suggested as a rec for our listener’s mom.

Friday's Fic Fit 5.21.2010

Every Friday, we’ll ease your cravings for a hit/fic by passing on something that’s been rec’d to us. This means that if there’s a fic you wanna see, you’ll need to submit it! Stories that fit the theme of our upcoming podcast are most appreciated.

For today’s reading pleasure, Flanny would like to rec Cullen, Unscripted by FL95.

FL95 submitted her own fic to us because, as you may know, a rec is the only way to see something appear as a Friday Fic Fit. If there’s a fic you’d like see us rec, your own or someone else’s, click the button to your left and tell us about it!

Summary:

When Edward Cullen scores an entry level internship as a writer for his distant Uncle's TV Station immediately following College, his life takes some funny turns as he makes new friends and finds love. AH, BxE, Rated L for Lemons, Laughing and Language.

Flanny’s official pimping:

I’d venture to say that the story should be rated C as well, for a Cocky Cullen Comedy. FL95’s style, which I got to know by reading Dick, is straight forward, self-aware and quite charming. In this story, Eddie-boy might have landed a choice job by many people’s standards, but he is a landmine of misfortune. Take this lovely example of clumsiness and misconstrued signals as exhibit A:

“This is that part of the story where I really wish I could rewind the events I'm about to tell you about, delete them, replace them with something a little more…not quite so embarrassing, and then live my life without shame.
But alas, here's what actually happened.
See when Bella leaned in like that, I thought she was leaning in to kiss me, not to TALK to me.
Stupid, yeah, I know, but in the moment, what else was I supposed to think?
So I leaned toward her, closing my eyes, puckering a little, in the anticipation to feel her soft, perfect lips against mine, hearing nothing but John Mayer in my head, singing that song about dancing in a burning room.
Then I heard a very quiet, very nervous, "Um…."
"What the fuck are you doing, monkey?" came another voice from not so far away and I snapped my eyes open, only to be met with a blushing, doe eyed, shocked Bella, her mouth slightly ajar, backing away slowly.
My equilibrium was thrown off, my mouth became dry and I fell forward, into Bella. My hands threw themselves into her for balance, I swear, but landed square on her breasts and she screamed.”

Another stylistic choice which the author makes that I enjoy, is the way she unabashedly breaks down the fourth wall of fiction; making the reader an active participant in the narrative:

"Consanguineous," she answered…saying it with the utmost matter of factness. It was like I didn't even NEED to give her any direction, she just knew how the line needed to be said.
Her voice was like a song.
I needed to write her more lines.
Oh yeah, consanguineous, by the way…that means they're of the same blood…related by birth, descended from the same parent or ancestor. I like big words.

She also writes Bella’s POV, but I have to say, my preference is first person Edward, which is what this author is most skilled at... although I did enjoy Bella’s take on her scene partner, Mike’s, penchant for onion bagels before the kissy kissy scenes. In the words of The Amazingly Talented Miss Isabella Swan POV:

“Blech.”

Don’t expect flowery language or angst, and you will not be disappointed. Meh, the world has enough angst and sometimes, a girl just wants to get off and laugh. Is that too much to ask for? Nah-uh. I’m pleased to pimp this fic which is full of witty dialogue, an ongoing, first person inner narrative with a casual conversational tone, and one of the hottest first kisses in comedic fic.

This fic has my crack-whorish approval, due to the dry wit and sexy, yet simple narrative style.

So go check it out and tell FL95 that The Pimps sent you.

Cullen, Unscripted on FF.net

Cullen, Unscripted Twilighted Forum Thread

You can also find Cullen, Unscripted in our FF.net C2.

Friday's Fic Fit 5.14.2010

 Every Friday, we’ll ease your cravings for a hit/fic by passing on something that’s been rec’d to us.  This means that if there’s a fic you wanna see, you’ll need to submit it!  Stories that fit the theme of our upcoming podcast are most appreciated.

For today’s reading pleasure, Jess would like to rec Major Misconduct by m7707.

GrayMatters told us, “I absolutely LOVE this story! I have to admit that, at first, I was reluctant to read it, as I am not the biggest fan of the high school fics. But since I love hockey, I decided to give it a go. AM I EVER GLAD THAT I DID!! m7707 has some of the best character development I've ever read, a unique plot, and the most smokin' UST there is! The characters are sweet, relateable, and written in a mature fashion to which I can relate. And have I mentioned the UST? 15 chapters and and we're promised it's going to break wide open, and I CAN'T WAIT!!”

How could I pass that up?  Obviously, I couldn’t.

Summary:

Edward Cullen - hot high school hockey player. Bella Swan - shy high school student. They've admired each other from afar, so what happens when they finally meet? Will they be strong enough to handle a threat from his past? No good deed goes unpunished...

Jess’ official pimping:

 Sports have never really been my thing, but HockeyWard is an easy way to win a girl over.  This JockWard isn’t the usual cocky manwhore we’re used to.  Sure, he’s cocky, but only when he’s earned it.  He’s a little shy, smart, funny, and, of course, hot as hell.  

The whole fic is told from Bella’s POV, so it’s always important to be able to relate to her.  I think anyone who’s been to high school can – this is exactly how I’d describe high school.  Bella’s a mature (ish) 17 year old who’s shy but funny and easy to love.  Bella’s klutziness is present, but her accidents don’t feel like the author is using them as a plot device to get Bella in Edward’s arms all the time.  She’s got her trademark blush, but again, it doesn’t feel forced.  

At times, the UST is off the charts as shy Bella discovers a side of herself she didn’t know before – Inner Slut Girl.  Bella’s just discovering her teenage hormones and though they take over sometimes, she doesn’t go from virgin to sex goddess in an instant.  Bella’s still awkward and hardly knows what to do with the crazy, hot things her imagination comes up with.  As you experience her awkwardness with her, you almost feel bad for her… though somehow m7707 makes it nerve-wracking and hot enough that it all blends together into a wonderful feeling.  

Another strength in this fic is the way the parents are written.  They all have a good amount of character without feeling cheesy or too much like a stereotypical parent.  There’s also plenty of great one-liners to keep you smiling throughout.

Quote from Chapter 2:

He laughed out loud this time, and Mr. Banner turned to us with a scowl. "Something amusing you wish to share, Mr. Cullen?"

Edward's eyes danced wickedly at me, and I poked him in the thigh. Then I had to do it again, I thought maybe I'd hit the metal post. No, that hard, firm, unyielding object was definitely his thigh. Gah. My hand lingered on his leg and then, without my forethought or knowledge, it slid slowly, tantalizingly higher. Holy hell. He jerked slightly, and I snapped my arm back in mortification. Oh my God, I just felt up Edward Cullen in the middle of Biology class.

So go check it out and tell m7707 that The Pimps sent you. 

Major Misconduct on FF.net

Major Misconduct on Twilighted Unedited

Major Misconduct Twilighted Forum Thread